Don't celebrate Valentine's Day

Why We Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Hello to all the love-birds, matches-made-in-heaven, perfect couples, and Ashley Madi-sinners out there. Question – what are you doing this February 14th (aka Valentine’s Day)? Are you buying flowers for your lady? Maybe some chocolates? Or perhaps she has hinted for some nice jewelry?

Happy Valentine’s Day Scam Day!

For many, many, many years now, many, many, many people have been duped into thinking they need a special day to celebrate their relationship – on top of their anniversary, birthdays, Christmas (or other religious gift-giving holiday). Not us.

We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because it’s dumb.

I don’t need a special day to tell my wife I love her. Nor do I need to buy her gifts. Stop and think about that whole gift-giving process for a minute. I want you to like me today, so I’m going to buy your “like” with stuff. Sounds logical to me!

Even better is that Valentine’s Day is one week after the biggest sporting event in the United States, the Superbowl (which coincidentally happens to be a day of increased domestic disputes).

Our last February in Canada I recall going to the grocery store after work on the 14th and seeing a line of about 15 men (I counted). They were all lining up to buy flowers. I thought “wow, a lot of guys in the dog house”. Then I remembered, Oh yeah, Valentine’s Day! I felt like shouting at them “Don’t do it. Don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day!”. I wanted to protest with a huge sign “Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day”.

Let’s take our imaginations one step further to the sweat shop where all those little teddy bears holding a heart with a cute saying on it are made. Let’s empathize with the Indonesian/Vietnamese/Srilankan/Nicarguan/ worker for a minute. What goes through their head when they see these toys coming off the line?

valentine's day teddy bear

I know what I’d be thinking:

WTF? I make $2 a day and risk the roof falling on me, endure extreme heat and toxic fumes, just so some douche can tell his wife once a year “I love you” with this fucking teddy bear? Really?

If you feel the need to purchase material items to celebrate your love on February 14th then go nuts. I won’t judge (even though it appears like I am in the previous paragraphs. That’s just how it appears. It’s not REALLY judging. Okay it is. Whatever).

Where was I? Oh yeah, the flowers and the teddy bears and $hitty leftover chocolates they couldn’t sell at Christmas (and will sell again at Easter). If you want to do something with your honey, do something epic. And I don’t mean manscaping. Go somewhere. Do something. Don’t buy some piece of crap trinket that the dog’s gonna destroy the minute you leave for work on Monday.

My wife and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because it really is a cash-grab Hallmark holiday. We’ve never celebrated it, except maybe when we first started dating, but that was probably just so we could have an excuse to rent a room and go have sex.

stickman sex

So don’t celebrate Valentine’s with stuff. Do stuff you both enjoy doing, things like:

  • Couples spa/massage
  • Take a trip somewhere awesome (Jamaica, Aspen, NY City, or Brighton Ontario Canada to see the largest apple in the world, to name a few places.
  • Take her to a show or concert
  • Go for a hike (maybe sneek in an outdoor quickie)
  • Try bowling or a round of mini-golf
  • Hit the range together (gun range, archery range, driving range – remember, we don’t judge)
  • Play strip poker, or strip Monopoly (after your kids are asleep of course)
don't celebrate Valentine's Day
Help Ralph, don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.

I recall when I was a kid having a bunch of Valentine’s Day cards and you’d give them out to classmates. And that’s totally cool. It made kids feel good (except poor Ralph Wiggum on tv’s The Simpsons). But where do you draw the line? Buying gifts to get your own spouse to like or appreciate you more? If you want material items on Valentine’s Day ask yourself: Do I love my spouse, or do I love stuff? If it’s stuff, well, I feel sorry for your relationship built on stuff and not love.

How about you? What are you and your significant other doing this Valentine’s Day? Got some good stuff-less ideas you do with your sweet Valentine?

Now go sell all your stuff and don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with gifts!


4 thoughts on “Why We Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day”

  1. We don’t celebrate V-Day either. Early on in our relationship Steve would buy me something and I wouldn’t get him anything, the next year it would be reversed because we couldn’t remember whether we were doing it or not and we had a low commitment to this fake occasion. It turned out to be pretty funny. We quickly dispatched of the whole charade.

    1. Was listening to a local radio station and the “Millenial” DJ’s were of the same opinion – useless day. I think we celebrated it early in our relationship as well, then realized ‘what’s the point’. Besides, every day is special for my wife when she wakes up and sees me laying beside her 😛

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