I’ve never had a man cave. I’ve never even wanted a man cave, for that matter. To me, the term man cave seems silly and conjures up images of…well…a caveman.
Most people know what a man cave is. It’s a place in the house that’s, evidently, designed for the “man”. A place of solitude. A place to drink beers with the guys, throw some darts, watch the game, eat potato chips, razz one another, and waft farts in each others general direction whenever possible.
My man cave was a workshop, I guess. My wife rarely stepped foot in my workshop, other than to get something out of the deep freezer, which occupied a very small corner of the room.
After most of our home renovations were complete I converted my workshop into a home gym. I still had my tools in there, I just stored out of the way so the room could be put to better use for both of us – thus ceasing any potential man cave of any sort.
Some guys turn their garages into a man cave. I remember walking our dog around the neighbourhood and seeing guys with their garage doors up, TV on (yes, they had a TV in their garage), sitting on their couch (yes, they also had a couch in their garage), drinking a cold beer from the nearby fridge (yes, they even had what I again can only assume is a spare fridge in their garage). I never understood why (the whole garage-man cave thing, not the fridge, well, the 2nd fridge too I guess).
My garage was for my car, my lawnmower, my hoe — err — garden tools, a small workbench, paint cans, and other items that I didn’t want to magically disappear if I left them outside. There was no couch. No TV. No beer fridge. My garage was the Gilligan’s Island of garages minus Ginger and Mary Ann…and the Howels…the Skip – okay, metaphorically it was like Gilligan’s Island because I had little in it.
A garage as a man cave seems like you REALLY want to get away from something in the house…or someone!
Now, when a fella leaves the garage door wide open for all to see, this could be construed as a “signal” for other men (without their own man cave) that this “man cave” is open for business. Bars open boys! But of the numerous times I walked by, I never saw anyone but that one guy in there. In fact, that particular guy wasn’t exactly well liked in the neighbourhood, so I came to learn.
Maybe he was just saying; “hey everyone, look at my awesome man cave!” All I ever remember thinking was “wow, you really gotta hate your wife to move all your stuff into your garage just to get away from her!”. That’s probably not the case – at least I hope it isn’t. Maybe they prefer different temperatures. Or different TV shows. Or maybe he’s made the perfect ass-indentations on that couch but she doesn’t want to see that godawful thing in her newly decorated “rumpus room”. And he refuses to toss out something he put so many hours of hard-ass labour into. We may never know!
Now, I’m not really a “man’s man” to coin a phrase. I’m comparable to Paul Rudd’s character in the movie; I Love You Man. I have a few guys I keep in touch with, but I’m not exactly itching to hang out with the boys to play poker or watch “the big game” every week. A few beers after hockey and I’ll be on my way. See ya next week.
So perhaps I’m missing something about the man cave? Is a man cave a place to brag about your stuff? Hey, look at the size of my TV! Check out my sound system. Want a drink from my refrigerated keg serving micro-brewed, citrus-infused, Saskatchewan wheat beer IPA cooled to the perfect temperature then ruined by serving it in a frozen glass?
*I have no qualms with citrus flavored IPA’s whatsoever, it just sounds less manly for a man cave, so I caved and put it in there.
I’ve learned not to judge people as much as I used to, but I still can’t help but think how useless the man cave is – at least the term man cave. In all honesty, it sounds like some dark, derelict, decrepit dwelling that men go to to hang out with other men (and only men are allowed), where they do secret “man things”, whatever those may be.
Again, I’m not a “man’s man” so I can’t really relate to the man cave, both the ideology and the name. I suppose you could also call it a “sausage salon”, or the “man-ball room”, maybe the “nut shack”, or the “Peter parlor”, the “Dick den”, “Rod room”, “Wang-out Hangout”, or simply; “Johnsonville”.
Maybe we could just call it what it really is – an indoor tree house minus the tree! I guess the silver lining is that you don’t have to climb a rope ladder to get in, and you no longer have to worry about your mom finding your stash of Playboys…but you might not be so lucky with your wife!
So tell me, what is this man cave stuff all about? Is it a lack of space. Is it showing off your “stuff”. Is it so you can use a different term for your basement, rec-room, TV room, garage, or shed? Are you trying to get away from someone, possibly more than one person…maybe two, three, four or more, all of varying sizes and dependencies?
I ask because I just don’t know – “I’m just a caveman”!
Now go sell all your stuff and stop hibernating in your man cave!